HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE?
By- Ishita Sharma
We, as human beings are “social animals” and therefore naturally seek the companionship of others as part of our well-being. We share mirror neurons that allow us to match each other's emotions unconsciously and immediately. Although, we meet thousands of people, but connect only with a few. With some, we tend to look for similarities, like the best friends group. While in the case of our romantic relationships, we tend to look for a person with somewhat a different personality as compared to us.
For an extrovert, it is easier to communicate and gain friends in comparison to an introvert who is not really interested in such relationships and their world sort of revolves around themselves. It is facile to make friends, in contrast to understanding them, getting along with them and finally keeping them. To maintain friendships it is mandatory to make the other person feel as an equal in terms of respect and at the same time trusting them and doing your bit for them to trust you in the process. Also, not judging the other person because of a certain thing, and ignoring the 10 other good qualities that they possess. Be honest and sincere with them, about whatever you feel. If they are part of something, you feel is wrong, share it with them, to avoid misunderstandings later. Remember, you can’t really force or beg someone to be your friend.
But all friendships involve having fights, arguments which get heated up to a level that mostly people decide to walk out rather than having communicating about it. People feel communication does no good after things have reached on the verge of ending. But how tough it is to give the bond one last shot? Who knows, it might prove to be a lucky one! It is crucial to take into consideration their perspective and understand them. It takes just a minute’s time to get out of a friendship and tell them you don’t care for them anymore, but it takes a lot more than that to stay with them, and tell them you will continue to care, not just during the good times, but also when they feel low.
People in today’s world want to feel like they are important. Everyone wants to get recognized, appreciated and loved by their friends and others. They want to be a part of every discussion, know more about their friends etc. After a certain stage in life, we tend to realize that there are only a few people who stand with us no matter what, and prove to be our real friends. The more we grow, the sooner we realize that it isn’t important to have 20 people, who we can call our friends while they don’t even put in efforts to be with us, but those 2-3 friends who support us during our hard times and accept us with our flaws.
Now, to deal with people in daily life, it is essential to know how to handle them, make them like you, win people to their way of thinking and be a leader as proposed by Dale Carnegie in his book. The thing one must know when handling people is “don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.” When you criticize someone, you put yourself at a level above them. Even if you get your point across, the only thing that will come of the situation is that the other person will have a feeling of remorse and you will have bruised their self-esteem.
Making others like you is way different to forcing them to like you. Earn their trust and respect. Make them feel safe in your vibe, share things about yourself with them, develop positive attitude towards them, learn to apologize whenever you’re at fault and be kind.
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