RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS
BY- Ishita Sharma
“the best relationships are the ones you never saw coming.”
What comes first to our mind when we think about a relationship? Is it the word love? Or is it the word complicated? Well, to be honest it depends on the perspective of the person based on his/her past experiences that obviously tend to develop whenever there is a room for change.
If we talk about the romantic relationships, it has always been complicated. If you expect the other person to be faithful to you and put in the best efforts for the relationship, you ought to reciprocate them same. It is not because you owe that person anything, but if you expect them to make you feel nice, then even they deserve the same. When this process does not run smoothly, it creates gaps between both of the people involved in it and once these gaps become huge with passing time, it tends to have a major negative impact on the lives of those involved.
But why does this happen? Why do we expect so much from our partner? This expectation rises from the relationship of other couples that influences our thought process, as a result of which we always want more than what we have. It is not always about the materialistic things that we seek for, but also the attention, quality time, recognition, appreciation and respect that we desire for.
What is more important to understand is that, all the problems that arise in a relationship are created. This could either be by ones who are involved in it or an intruder. Trust me; the latter is much worse than the former in this case. When there are conflicts between the two people it can mostly be resolved through effective communication. But when an outsider gets involved, you probably do not know if you can rely on them or not unless they are among the ones you trust.
Problems in a relationship can arise due to various reasons such as either of the partners cheating or losing interest or the involvement of family in their personal matters, lack of communication, lack of trust on the other person, coping with stress challenges, financial pressures, boundary violations, difficulty balancing individual and couple expectations, etc. Well, what is crucial to understand is that it is not always about the intimacy in relationships, but it is the ability to have a strong bond with the partner so that you can trust them no matter what happens.
It is necessary to solve in all the issues between the ones involves in that relationship and not expecting some third person to do that on their behalf. It is better to discuss with your partner what you feel about a particular thing that is disturbing you rather than suppressing them, which might later be problematic. In case if a mutual solution cannot be decided upon, it is always helpful to seek couple/ marriage counseling, wherein there is a lot of scope for improvement through introspection and understanding the issue through the perspective of a professional.
Rather than having irrational thoughts like “what if things don’t work out well? I might even lose that person.”, it is important to change it to, “what if he/ she understand it and gives me a better solution? Our bond will only become stronger than before.”
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