Ways to be a better Parent
By- Ishita Sharma
Being a parent is a break-free job, which comes with no formal training or salary. It just requires consistent efforts and a lot of patience to deal with every situation. One cannot possibly read books or watch movies on parenting and implement it in their life. It comes with a lot of responsibilities for both the mother and father and not just either of them. Being a good parent cannot be taught through books or presentations, it can only be best understood through the experience of being a parent. Parents are the primary teachers for children as they are majorly present in the child’s environment during that time. Children tend to observe every attitude, behaviour and emotion of the parent and tend to replicate it often.
Although there are various kinds of parenting styles, but authoritative parenting style is proven to be the most effective of them all. Also, it was proven that children raised by authoritative parents have higher levels of self-esteem and quality of life and are healthier than those raised by authoritarian or permissive parents. These parents show characteristics of being more empathetic, kind, and warm and avoid punishment and threats; instead rely on strategies such as positive reinforcement.
For parents with two children, it is crucial to pay attention to both of them, and not being biased with the younger or the elder one or favouring the girl/ boy child more. It is necessary to provide both of them with equal love, attention and affection. At the same time, it is also important to give them some space and not make them feel that they are entirely dependent on their parents.
When the child is encountered with any concern, it is the duty of the parent to be by their side and support them during that time; and not presenting them with a readymade solution to that particular concern. It is important to not create a sense of dependency, which later in the growing years might even become a habit. Also, solutions given by parents will make them think only in a certain way and prevent them from exploring more possible solutions to it. Allow them to make as many mistakes. They’ll eventually learn and grow out of it.
Parents can play the role of guiding their children to walk on the right path, but should not create that path for them. Let them find it on their own and experience that sense of being independent. Another factor that contributes to being a good parent includes not comparing them with any of their friends or any other child for that matter. It will Every child is unique in his/her own way and have their own likes and dislikes. When forced to be a part of something they don’t really admire like learning a particular instrument or being part of a sports team, it will eventually result in creating certain invisible boundaries between the parents and the child and may also avert them from sharing anything with their parents.
A major key to developing a good relationship with children is to communicate with them, getting to know them better and also, sometimes learning from them. When a child expresses any emotion, it is always necessary to be there for them and also, being an active listener at the same time. Sometimes, all they need is someone to be physically present for them when they are feeling low. Parents should take out time for tem, take them out for walks, play with them or be a part of any other activity they love doing.
It is also necessary for parents to recognize any big or small effort made by the child for a good cause and reinforce them for the same which will further encourage them. Age appropriate tasks could be assigned to them at home or even at school, which will further contribute to their learning.
Keep in mind; to not compare yourself with other parents and how they treat their children. This type of comparison could result in unhealthy competition and might also create a lot of pressure on the child, so as to live upto the expectations.
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