Finding meaning in suffering
By- Ishita Sharma
Well, it is believed to be absolutely terrifying to know about the kind of deep suffering, the happiest looking people are able to hide inside themselves. When we are growing from teens to adults, our parents guide us to share any problems we face. At that moment, they are the most trustworthy shield a person could have. But as we grow old and mature, we tend to hide these things from our parents and suffer alone in silence.
According to me, suffering due to any reason is very personal. It takes time to move on from what had happened and gather the courage, to be back on moving forward in life. It is very difficult to accept the reality of every unhappy situation. But is crucial to accept whatever comes our way, in order to get rid of all the upsetting and negative thoughts. To be honest, it is just a small word with a deep meaning associated with it. “Acceptance” of the past, the present and what will come next is the only way to grow and move on in life. What is ought to happen, will certainly happen.
In some cases, people take a very long time to get over something that has caused great suffering to them. Well, moving neither can be particularly defined by a particular amount of time, nor can be treated by any medicine. No matter how much you try, it is not possible to get rid of the memories.
After sometime, they might reside in your unconscious, but flashbacks do follow, at any time and at any place. It could happen when you are listening to a song, visiting an old place, reading an old book etc what is of utmost importance, is to not suppress these thoughts and let them flow. There is nothing wrong with remembering those situations and sharing them with others, what is worse is that you suppress them and let them cause pain to you.
There are certain things in life that you don’t have any control on. This could include the death of a family member/ close friend/ parents, separation from spouse, difficulty in moving on from an incident, memories of any traumatic experience etc. All these situations are part of life, are unpredictable and something that you don’t mostly have a control on.
Thus, whenever possible, it is important to find a meaning in that suffering, to understand what it made you go through and what changes it brought up. This will not only help you to deal with the situation better, but will also bring you inner peace. If you feel like you cannot share your pain with others or that no one will understand what you are going through, take out time to relax, sit and pen down all that you are feeling at the moment, went through in the past etc in a journal. This will not only help you to get rid of the unwanted thoughts that disturb you all the time, but will also help you to understand yourself better. Journal writing is like talking to oneself, and further introspecting.
Difficult times do not continue forever, but while being in that phase, all you need to remember is to treat yourself well and be strong, and this tough phase shall pass too.
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